Hard Sayings of Jesus part 2: ‘He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.’

 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.” (Mat 10:34-38)

These verses contain some hard sayings of Jesus. When taken out of context, these words can be easily misunderstood. Did Jesus teach us to hate our parents if we want to follow Him? It may sound like it when we read these words, however, it’s important to understand the context of this saying. In this article we are going to look deeper into the above verses in its context to understand this hard saying by Jesus.

Matthew 10 starts off with Jesus preparing and instructing His disciples before He sends them out into the towns in Israel. They are to first preach the gospel, and then heal the sick, cast out demons and even raise the dead. These miracles were to verify the truth of what they preach about Jesus and His messiahship. The instructions Jesus gives to the disciples was not only to prepare them for this short mission into the towns of Israel, but He was preparing them for the long-term ministry amongst the Jews and Gentiles. The lesson here for His disciples is about knowing the cost of following Him before they head out. Jesus says, “The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household!” (Mat 10: 24-25). Although Jesus prepares His disciples in counting the cost of being His disciple, He also encourages His disciples to take courage, for their reward will be great in heaven.

Another point to note is that when Jesus refers to the sword in Matt 10:34, He is not referring for His followers to be violent, but it is reference for what belief in Jesus as both the Messiah and the son of God will cause amongst people. Jesus is teaching His disciples that His arrival in this world will bring division in Israel. Family members will turn on each other over the issue of whether Jesus is the Messiah. Those who refuse Jesus as the Messiah will be the ones who persecute those who choose to follow Him. Jesus refers to the words of the prophet Micah, “Do not trust in a friend; Do not put your confidence in a companion; Guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your bosom. For son dishonors father, daughter rises against her mother, daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; A man’s enemies are the men of his own household.” (Micah 7:5-6). Being a follower of Jesus may cost you losing your loved ones. Following the Prince of Peace may mean losing peace with your family.

Jesus also reaffirms the fifth commandment of honoring our father and mother and in doing so we are pleasing God. (For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother’ – Mat 15:4); However, if your love for father and mother causes you to listen to their word over God’s word, then this is wrong. If your love for mum and dad causes you to do what pleases them though it may displease God, that is wrong too. Putting your parents before Jesus will make you unworthy of being His follower. Jesus is not saying, ‘do not love’ your parents, what He is saying is do not love them more then Him. Jesus tells us the greatest commandment for us is, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ (Mat 22:37-39)

The order is to love God first, and what comes after that is loving your neighbor. Loving your parents falls into this category of loving your neighbor. It’s also interesting when making this statement ‘He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.’ Is seen as another claim of Jesus saying He is God. who can you love greater then your parents, but God Himself.

 To conclude, Jesus saying, ‘He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.’ This is not Him saying to hate your mother or father in order to follow Him, the meaning of this saying is that your love for mother and father must be second to loving Jesus. We are to be careful to not make idols out of our loved ones by loving them more then Jesus. Jesus is King and His throne must not be shared with anyone else.

We must also understand that Matthew 10:34 – 38 is about the cost of discipleship. We know in parts of the world where persecution is prevalent for Christians, part of the cost of following Him can be rejection and persecution by their own families.

Though the gift of salvation is free for anyone who believes in Jesus, the cost of being a follower of Jesus will come at a cost. Though it’s free to believe in Jesus as Lord and Saviour, the cost of discipleship is to follow Jesus as Lord and to obey His commands.

The challenge for us Christians today is, are we worthy of Jesus? Are there things or people we love that might rival our love for Jesus? If there is, you must repent and surrender to Jesus first place in your heart. This is our Lord’s terms which are both for our good and for His glory. To God be the glory!